Country Living: Our Man in Arundel

When I was a child, Land Rovers came in two sizes - square box and rectangular box. Well, that's the way I saw it. And they were available in a selection of cheerless yet intriguing matt colours that meant they would almost disappear completely when parked in the countryside (or, in the case of the yellow one, on the beach).

I wanted a red one when I grew up. I knew they didn't make any red ones for the public - you had to be a fire chief to get a red Land Rover - but that didn't stop me wanting. I blame the range of "Britains" toys. How I loved playing with toy farm equipment. No, seriously.

A few years have passed now but I've not changed my mind. I've become a bit more specific - I'd like a 110 Defender - but there's still something reassuring about 4-wheel drive vehicles, isn't there?

Of course, they're not always practical, which is probably why they come in for so much criticism. But when you think about it, the most-frequent complaint about any vehicle (with the usual hit list including Mercedes, BMW, Volvo, GTI and 4x4) isn't the car itself but the way it's being driven. And parked, sometimes.

I think you can tell where I'm going here, can't you? Arundel isn't really "the country". We don't see much snow or rain or mud in the town centre. But I've bought a vehicle with off-road capability. Not a Land Rover because they hold their value far too well for me to afford anything more than a seat-cover. In my defence, my car has a relatively small engine and can be switched to 2-wheel drive for everyday use. My mum and her replacement hip can both get in (which is more than could be said for my previous car). It's 9 years old. It's two-tone green and rust. I've not had a car for several weeks. I won't be using it every day, really I won't. You can probably think of a few more excuses yourself.

So please don't hate me. At least I haven't bought a hay-baling machine as well.