Our Man in Arundel (but not at the weekend)

Remember my car? Of course you do.

This weekend it was put through its paces… in a very gentle way. And, I’ll be honest, I was pleasantly surprised.

It was time to clear the back garden. My girlfriend’s garden, not mine. (Mine’s great, since you ask). More specifically, we were clearing the twilight zone behind her garden shed. There was mud, there was concrete, there was an old bicycle, an old display cabinet and assorted sizes of surprised frog. Much of it left behind by previous occupants, I hasten to point out. Anyway, everything unwanted went in bags. The frogs headed for the pond.

First observation: there’s loads of room inside the back of my car – even with one of the split rear seats in place to accommodate an occasionally-willing junior helper.

Second observation: there’s a 1.75m height barrier at the entrance to the tip. My car’s a couple of inches shorter than the barrier, which meant I could drive past the Landcruisers and Discoverys parked outside. I tried not to look smug.

Third observation: the back window of my car can be left open when you’re driving, because it doesn’t stick out beyond the overall length of the vehicle. This means you can keep the tailgate closed and still keep loading. (Farewell, previously trusty and now worryingly unstable wooden steps).

Fourth observation: when you’ve finished taking everything to the tip, off-road capability is useful because you’ll probably need to drive over the verge onto your girlfriend’s front lawn so that the vacuum cleaner lead will reach your car.

Fifth observation: my car isn’t one of the worst cars you can buy. It is, however, related by birth.